Courage (Mark of Nexus) Page 25

  I held up my hands. “I’m just checking.”

  She chewed the inside of her cheek, looked both ways, and shrugged. “Forget about it.”

  “Fine.” Something is definitely up.

  “Anyway, when do you plan on popping the question?”

  The abrupt subject change gave me whiplash, but I didn’t let on. “That's what I wanted to know. Should I wait until I can save up to buy a ring or…?”

  “No, the sooner the better.”

  “So, just ask?”

  “Well, it has to be romantic,” she scolded. “Wait for the right moment and use something else. A token. A placeholder. Something meaningful.”

  Meaningful? I mentally scanned my room, taking catalog of everything I owned. The only thing that really meant anything to me was on my wrist, and that was…perfect.

  All at once, the puzzle pieces fit together. The dance would be romantic—we'd be dressed up, and the atmosphere would be right. Before we had to deal with this virus shit, I'd give Rena my Dad's watch and ask her to marry me.

  Marry me…

  My sweat glands kicked into overdrive. This is what happens when you refuse to let yourself think about something for twenty-three years. It becomes panic inducing.

  “You all right there, buddy?”

  “Yeah.”

  “You’re lookin’ a little pale.”

  I rubbed at the scruff on my chin and stared up the side of the building. “I’m fine. Just thinking.”

  “Are you going to think out loud, or did you ask me here for ambiance?”

  “Sorry.” I turned to face her. “It’s just…do you think Friday would be too soon?”

  Faint lines formed between her brows. “You want to ask her at the dance?”

  “Yeah. Is that a bad idea?”

  “N-No, of course not. I would just…ask her early.” Her gaze slid from mine, and I resisted the urge to press the issue. “That way, your nerves—and by your nerves, I mean your sweat—won’t get the best of you.”

  I kicked at a loose rock on the concrete. “Good point.”

  A group of girls wandered past us, talking about exams and who got nailed in the bathroom last weekend. Once they were out of earshot, I took a step forward. “Hey, you don’t think this is too soon, right?”

  “I told you Friday was—”

  I shook my head. “No, I mean in general.”

  She uncrossed her legs and leaned back, scrutinizing me. “Let me ask you this. Do you think your feelings are going to change in the next two years?”

  “No.”

  “Do you think Rena’s will?”

  I thought about it for a second, and for the first time since we’d started dating, I had a definite answer. “No.”

  “Okay. Will getting engaged deter you from doing anything important? Finishing school, fighting the forces of evil, getting a job… blah, blah, blah…”

  “I doubt it.”

  She lifted her shoulders and brushed something off of her shorts. “Then what’s the point of waiting?”

  “But…” I walked in a half circle and turned back to face her, running my hands through my hair. “I figured you’d go grab one of those magazines with all of the sex headlines on them, and we’d take a quiz or something. You think it’s really that simple?”

  “It’s as simple or as difficult as you choose to make it, Wallace.” She sighed. “Just like any other decision.”

  Well, who knew?

  “Then, I guess I have a few visits to take care of this week,” I muttered, more to myself than to her. Because Grandma’s going to flip when she hears this.

  CHAPTER 44

  “You know what I love?” I asked from the floor, later that night. “Take-home tests. It’s just you, some half-assed photocopies, and your textbook. No pressure; no one waiting for you to mess up…”

  “Girl, your crazy life has got you babblin’ nonsense again.” Gabby grinned down at me and minimized a window on her laptop. “What’re you going on about?”

  “Nothing.” I tapped my pen on my notebook. “I’m just saying it’s a nice change of pace.”

  She pushed her chair back and crawled onto the carpet beside me. “Okay, it’s going on one. Why don’t you take a break?”

  “This is for my early class.”

  Her gaze raked my papers. “You have like two questions left.”

  “They might take a while.”

  “They’re matching.”

  Damn it. I knew I should’ve covered the paper.

  She leaned back against her bed and crossed her arms. “We’ve been putting it off all night. You know we gotta talk this shit out.”

  My stomach kicked into its spin cycle. “I know. I just hate the way you had to find out about everything. It makes me feel guilty. And you couldn’t tell me about the…baby.”

  She snatched my pen and set it down, leveling me with a stare. “Yeah, well, I’ve been thinkin’ about it. Remember the first time I tried beef jerky?”

  I shoved everything aside and stretched out “I remember force-feeding you and you spitting it out in my car.”

  “Right, but what happened after that?” She pointed to a packet of Slim Jims on her desk. “I tried it again a few weeks later and ended up liking it. The taste grew on me.”

  A snort caught in my throat. “Are you comparing supernatural awareness to beef jerky?”

  She flashed me a grin. “Damn straight.”

  I dropped my head onto my arms, letting my hair cover my face. “I must be tired. That almost made sense.”

  “See? We can do this. I just needed time to get used to the idea. Now, what I need from you is your take.”

  “On what?”

  “Uh, on everything? We haven’t had an honest conversation in months.”

  Whether I was comfortable with the notion or not, she did have a point. These details would have to come out sooner or later, and this time, I wanted her to hear the story from me. “Okay.” I blew out a breath. “So, you know how I ran into Wallace in the hall after winter break?”

  ~

  Thirty-six minutes later, we were both stretched out, staring up at the ceiling in an effort to digest everything. I’d given her the unabridged version and shared details I hadn’t even told Wallace—how terrified I was at the warehouse, the worries I suppressed whenever we slept in the same bed, how badly I wanted him…

  Talk about liberating.

  “So,” she started, jarring the silence. “Now that everything’s out in the open, what are we gonna do about Geek Boy?”

  Despite the lighthearted nickname, I knew her words were weighted. She yearned for resolution as much as I did. “Honestly, I’m not sure what we can do. Aiden had to have been in such a dark place to willingly go there, knowing things could go wrong, and I didn’t realize he had feelings for me. What kind of friend am I?”

  She rolled to her side and lowered her gaze. “It might’ve been my fault, too, you know—him rushing off to impress you. The poor boy just seemed so depressed whenever you and Ace came up, I felt like I needed to give him a nudge. I thought if he found the nerve to tell you, he’d get over it. Or win you over, in some twist of fate. Either way, he’d get the experience under his belt and move on with life, you know? But it totally backfired, and now I don’t know what to do.”

  “I guess that makes two of us.”

  The room fell quiet, aside from someone’s drunken, muffled rendition of Lady Gaga’s latest hit in the hallway.

  “I’m scared, Ree,” she admitted in a quiet voice. “A few months ago, everything was fine. Now, our boy’s gone, you’re caught up in some super war, and I’m gonna have a baby. It’s all so out of our control. I don’t know how we’re supposed to move forward.”

  I bit the inside of my cheek. “So, you’re going to keep it?”

  “I guess. I mean, my folks are old-school Catholics. If I even consider abortion, they’ll flip.” She shook her head. “And if I do keep it, I’ll have to miss a semester�
��hell, I might have to drop out of school. I can’t deal with pre-med and a baby.”

  “What about the father?” I asked. “Is he the type to stick around?”

  Her lip trembled. “I’m not sure.”

  Well, that didn’t tell me anything. How many people had she slept with in the past few months? And how many of them had male genitalia? Aaron the pretty boy, that TA from her night class, Yakov from the library, Jinx the dancer, Maverick the—oh, shit. That would make things even worse. “So, you don’t…?”

  “No.” She shook her head. “I’ll need to get a paternity test.”

  “Oh.”

  “I know what you’re thinking.” The tone of her voice made me sick. “I love Mavey, but after everything he told me—how we even met in the first place—it would just feel so wrong, ya know? I don’t want a kid born from something like that.”

  Was it okay for her to get this upset? I didn’t know much about pregnant women, but I knew stress was never a good thing.

  “Not that it matters what I want,” she went on, her eyes glazing over. “I’m going to have a sticky little person following me around for the rest of my life. They always smell like Cheerios and shit, and you know I hate that smell. What am I supposed to do, Ree? I can’t be somebody’s mother. I can barely take care of myself.”

  “Just relax,” I told her. “Take a few breaths or something. This isn’t the end of the world. Women have babies every day.”

  Her brows arched in panic. “Not me. Not like this. I’m alone and totally not rea—”

  “Gabby.” I reached over and squeezed her hand. “You are not alone.”

  CHAPTER 45

  I skipped class on Friday.

  It took over two hours to get to Scion, and I spent every minute struggling to breathe around the lump in my throat. Before I rushed into any major life decisions tonight, I needed to talk things over with Grandma. She'd know the right thing to do—even though I had a sneaking suspicion I didn't want to hear it.

  Lacy curtains shifted in the window as I made my way down the sidewalk. A few seconds later, Grandma poked her head out the door. “Oh, honey. I felt you coming. What's wrong?”

  “Nothing. I just need to—”

  She hurried down the steps and reached for my forehead. “Are you sick? Does your tummy hurt?”

  I opened my mouth to answer, but she was already tugging me inside. “Come on. We can't have you standing out here in the cold. Did you know your great-grandpa Edwin is going to be staying here this weekend? Apparently, Faye gave Henry the weekend off, so he’s going down to see Jaya. Poor thing…being separated from her this long. But I’m going on and on, aren’t I? How are you feeling?”

  “I'm fine, Grandma. I just need to talk to you about something.”

  “Talk to me?” She hesitated in the entryway. “I see.”

  That was the trouble with empathy. We both knew what each other felt—always had—but it was easy to misinterpret things.

  After putting the teakettle on and arranging a sampler of cookies from her cupboard, she sat across the table from me. “So, did…someone get hurt?”

  “What?”

  “You're here in the middle of the day, nervous, worried…” She reached over and patted my hand. “It's okay, honey. You can tell me.”

  I shook my head. “No, everyone's fine. I've been careful. It's just…”

  “Rena?” She looked down at the floral tablecloth. “Nicholas mentioned your troubles.”

  “We're past that,” I told her, snatching a cookie from the tray. “It was a misunderstanding.”

  Relief flooded her soul and eased her features. “Oh, good. I had a feeling that was the case, but it was difficult to tell. I was half-prepared to drive myself up there.”

  “To Wilcox?”

  She nodded. “When I heard Rena had distanced herself in sacrifice, I was so up in arms. Not at her, of course, but at the situation my sister put you in. Senseless. Absolutely senseless. She knew what would happen if she brought that Nullari girl into the situation. She preyed upon the vulnerabilities in your relationship. And for what?”

  “To leave me weak,” I muttered.

  “And to isolate Rena.” Grandma pressed her lips together and shook her head. “I've weighed the situation since we met that evening with Henry, and I’m not such a blind optimist that I can't see her plans at work. Clearly, she wanted to empower the Dynari in her organization and avoid the prophesized threat you pose. But to think she would take things so far…” Her fist trembled.

  “Grandma?”

  “I'm frustrated!” she blurted out, lifting her sharp gaze to mine. “Faye is just like your brother—any means to an end. Toying with you kids' emotions, manipulating Henry, putting innocent people at risk…”

  I rubbed my neck, unsure of how to respond. “If you feel this way, why don't you say something to her?”

  “Things are still delicate.” She frowned. “My sister was kind once. Ambitious, benevolent, and hungry for change. I think that's still inside her somewhere. It's just a matter of finding it.”

  “And in the meantime?”

  The teakettle whistled in a shrill crescendo behind her, and steam filled the air above the stove. Grandma pushed her chair back and hurried over to take it off the burner. “Do you ever wonder why she didn't punish me that night?”

  I scrunched my brows together and let my gaze wander around the room. It had crossed my mind a few times. I mean, Grandma had stolen Grandpa Freddy right from under Faye's nose. Sure, she was under the impression that her sister was gone, but still. That incident helped push Faye over the edge.

  And didn't she bring Grandma to the park to bear witness to everything? The tests, the resurgence of her cause, et cetera? It didn't make sense to not use that as an opportunity for revenge.

  “She needs me,” Grandma explained, answering my unspoken question. “You know my minor ability is persuasion, and I have traces of Aunt Florence’s truth discernment. Think of how that could play into Faye’s plans for the future.”

  “You're going to use that as leverage.” I flinched when Brutus, Grandma's cat, brushed against my leg under the table. “You think you can take this time to get close to her and get her back on the right path.”

  “And you don't believe I can do it,” she said with her back to me, pouring hot water into two mugs. One said WORLD'S BEST GRANDMA and the other advertised an insurance company. Nothing ever matched in our house.

  “It's not that.” I stood up to help her, but she waved me off. “I just don't think we have that kind of time. ERA's moving ahead with this virus, and they're organizing a roster—whatever the end goal is, they're moving toward it. I'm scared of what the future might hold for all of us.”

  Tea bags were dropped into the mugs in relative silence, the only sound in the house coming from her spoon clanking against the ceramic. Without a word, she turned to set the table. Her eyes shone with unshed tears.

  My heart stopped. “Grandma…”

  We both took our seats, and I leaned across the table. “I'm sorry. I don't mean to doubt you, but—”

  “You're so much like your father,” she whispered, clutching at the necklace hanging against her chest. “Russell was always so practical, so driven to action for the things he believed in. You'll have to forgive your old grandma, honey. Sometimes, it just strikes a chord within me.”

  “So…” I let out a breath I didn't even realize I'd been holding. “You're not mad?”

  “Heavens, no.”

  My shoulders sagged in relief, and I reached for my mug. That little sidetrack had almost given me a heart attack. For a second, I’d forgotten why I’d come here. And this might be the perfect segue.

  “Um, speaking of Dad…”

  She blew on her tea. “Yes?”

  “What if I gave Rena his watch to hold onto for a little while?” I asked, taking what I hoped was a nonchalant sip. The liquid burned fire down my throat, but I couldn't flinch. This was a grown
-up discussion, and I needed to act like a man.

  A man sitting in a room full of flowers and lace, drinking tea with his grandmother…

  I did flinch.

  “What do you mean?” She set her mug down to regard me, tilted back in apprehension. “You're not going away, are you?”

  “No, no.” I followed suit and relaxed against my chair. “I just meant as a…a token.”

  “A token?” she repeated, her eyes growing round. “Are you…?”

  Her chair flew back, Brutus darted across the room, and Grandma practically leapt around the table. “Tell me you are going to marry that girl!”

  Holy shit. The woman was spry for her seventies. And did she just guess like that? Out of nowhere? I looked up at her, nearly panic-stricken, but the words were stuck in my throat. “Uh…”

  “Oh, sweetheart, that's wonderful!” She threw her arms around my neck and buried her face in my shoulder. “I've prayed for this for so long. I knew it. I knew you would find someone who understands you. Oh, you just beam around her, honey. I'm so happy.”

  The nerves in my chest unraveled, threatening my composure. Her happiness was leaking into my consciousness, magnified by the empathy. I knew she'd support the idea, but I still had to ask. “Do you think it's okay?”

  “Okay?” She pulled back, brows lifted. “It's more than okay. My little boy has grown up before my eyes. And Rena, God, she complements you in such beautiful and unexpected ways. This is perfect. Absolutely perfect.”

  I let out a deep breath. “Then, I should ask tonight?”

  “Of course!” She clasped her hands together. “I mean, you have asked her father, right?”

  Shit.

  The smile slipped from her features. “Wallace Edwin Blake. You intend to ask for that girl's hand without her father's permission?”

  “Well, I want to ask her at the dance tonight, and there's not much ti—”

  “You drive yourself that extra hour down to Clayhaven, and you have a sit-down with him.”

  “But, Grandma…”

  She put her hands on her hips and gave me a look that still struck fear in my heart. “No buts. I raised you to be a gentleman, didn't I?”