Courage (Mark of Nexus) Read online

  That did not just happen.

  I bounded into the public restroom like someone was hot on my trail and slammed the door. My hand slid over the chilled tile, grasping for the light switch, as I fought another wave of panic. Rena and Wallace are together. Wallace isn’t human. Some clinic is giving out super shots. People are in danger.

  Air coursed through my lungs like sand, filling the crevices and weighting me down. I found the switch and locked the door.

  All I’d wanted was to check on her. All I’d wanted was to make sure she was okay. Turned out, she was okay, all right. She had her boyfriend. Her stinkin’ boyfriend that she’d lied about…

  At that moment, I didn’t feel like I knew Rena at all. How many other things had she lied about? Who was she? What was she?

  I hadn’t meant to overhear, I really hadn’t. It was just that, when I heard their voices around the corner, I froze. Then she started talking about superpowers and viruses and my legs gave out. I sat on the tile while people walked around me—until she started to leave.

  God, what was wrong with me? For a few days, I honestly thought I could compete with him. I thought I had a chance. Not only is the guy blessed with being tall, dark, and handsome. No, he has to have superpowers, too. Is that even possible?

  I laughed, and it echoed around the room. A terrible sound, broken and bitter. I couldn’t even trust my own thoughts anymore.

  The things they said seemed impossible, but they had spoken so seriously about them. Who would make something like that up, just to recite it in private? It didn’t make sense. Were there really non-humans living among us? Had I interacted with them without knowing it?

  Wallace did leave bruises all over Rena…and then there was the steering wheel incident…and how easily he pulled out my mailbox key. Oh God. Acid burned my throat, filling my mouth. I darted forward, past the sink, and fell to my knees—heaving into the toilet. I hate myself.

  Liquid fear splashed into the bowl, and tears stung my eyes. No wonder Rena didn’t like me. I couldn’t even take news like this without getting ill. She probably wanted to tell me, but thought I couldn’t handle it.

  And she was right. I couldn’t handle it…

  I don’t know how long I sat there and sobbed like a baby, but I finally pulled myself up off the floor. The grossness barely registered as I flushed the toilet and stumbled my way to the sink. “You’re a mess,” I whispered.

  Red hair, red cheeks, and red eyes peered back from the mirror. I couldn’t stand to look at myself as I washed up, fighting to keep my hands from shaking. There had to be something I could do—some way to make this okay.

  Human or not, Rena was one of my best friends. She was beautiful, loyal to her friends, and real on too many levels. This stupid night wasn’t going to convince me otherwise. So, if she needed someone stronger than me, I’d become stronger. If she needed someone faster than me, I’d become faster. Whatever it took, I’d try it.

  Why? Because deep down, I knew she and I belonged together.

  Wallace had only waltzed into the picture a few months ago. Rena and I had a history ten times that. I knew her favorite t-shirt and what kind of coffee she ordered. If I saw a movie without her, I knew which parts would make her laugh and which parts would make her cry. I knew she preferred booths over tables and puppies over kittens. So, why the heck was she still with him?

  I jerked a paper towel from the dispenser and wiped my nose. She only saw my weakness, my inability to keep up with this secret life of hers. If she knew how much I cared about her, if she knew what I was willing to do for her, things would be different.

  The dance was supposed to be where I told her. We were going to walk out to the pond, gaze up at the stars, and everything would come together. She’d blush and frantically wave a hand in front of her face, trying to stave off tears. I’d shrug and smile as if to say, “I’ve been in love with you since freshman year. You didn’t know?”

  We’d hug—maybe even kiss, though it would probably be too soon—and Gabby would give me a high five. We’d all walk back to the dorm and order pizza. The good kind from Drake Ave. Someone would suggest a movie, and Rena would rest her head on my shoulder…

  I swallowed and threw the paper towel in the trash. None of that was going to happen now.

  With ghostlike detachment, I walked out of the bathroom, through the lobby, and started toward Jinx’s room. Might as well go and put her out of her misery. She had a date to keep tonight with Wallace.

  I was almost to Jinx’s door when three words finally registered in my mind. Clinic. Powers. Experiments.

  My back went as stiff as a coat rack, and I turned to eye the hall leading to the side exit. That paper was still there. Whatever Wallace and Rena had read, it still had to be there. What if…?

  I nearly tripped over my own feet trying to get to the nook beneath the staircase. In less than ten seconds, I came to a panting halt where their secret meeting had taken place. My eyes scanned the corkboards for a flyer about vaccines, but found nothing. I turned to the trashcan and swallowed.

  Whatever it takes…

  I plunged in with both arms, feeling germs crawl all over me, contaminating my skin. A green wad shifted on the top, and I clutched at it with greedy hands. This was it. It had to be. “RSTL free clinic,” I read to myself, trying to catch my breath. “Blah, blah, blah. Starting Saturday at seven.”

  Seven. Tomorrow. I made a mental note and crammed the paper into my pocket. If this place had the knowhow to put me on the same level as Wallace, I was going to check it out. Risk or no risk. I’d reached my breaking point.

  Before I could give myself a chance to re-think things, I retrieved my cell phone and texted Rena’s number. “Feeeeling sick,” I sounded out as I typed. “Went back.”

  There was no way I could see her now, not without blowing my plans. I hit send and shoved the phone back into my pocket. By tomorrow night, I’d be a new man—empowered, confident, and ready to give Rena everything she needed.

  She wouldn’t know what hit her.

  CHAPTER 33

  After Aiden bailed on us, I left Gabby with Jinx. They were watching some movie on TV, and frankly, I had better things to do—like shaving my legs and looking for my fancy underwear. Just in case.

  By the time I’d gotten ready and left a note saying I’d gone out with a friend, I was already late. I paced the elevator, willing the door to pry open. Come on…

  Three minutes. I hadn’t hung out with Wallace in weeks, and I’d already squandered three minutes of our time together. What the hell was wrong with me? The mirrored doors chimed open, and I darted through the lobby. It was a warm spring night, but the breeze lent a fragrant chill to the air. I zipped my jacket and hurried around the building, unsurprised to find a large figure leaning in silhouette against his truck.

  My heart still fluttered.

  As Wallace’s glowing gaze lifted to meet mine, a smile tugging the corners, I felt the last few weeks fade into the background. I’d been given a second chance. We both had. And with our lives on a collision course with ERA, we couldn’t afford to waste any more time.

  My sneakers blurred the sidewalk as I closed the gap between us and launched myself into his arms. “I missed you,” I murmured against his neck as he held me off the ground, his arms an overpowering vice around my waist. “We are never breaking up again. Do you hear me? Never again.”

  “I’ll hold you to that,” he said, setting me down with a strange look in his eyes. “But first, we need to get out of here before someone sees us.”

  I threw a glance at the rows of windows facing the parking lot and winced. “Yeah, good call.”

  He helped me into the truck, and we took off. Destination unknown. To me, at least. He wouldn’t tell me where we were going.

  We drove around town for a while, holding hands and making idle conversation. The cabin stayed warm, and the radio hummed low in the background. Lights passed by in softened circles. “I love this.”
<
br />   “What?”

  “Just this,” I said, gesturing between us. “It’s nice.”

  His features pinched in a lopsided smile, and he ran his thumb over the back of my hand. “Yeah, me too.”

  A familiar green and black sign came into view, and he slowed, bumping his turn signal.

  “We’re going back already?” Disappointment gnawed at my insides, but I tried to hide it in my voice. “Not that it matters, I just…”

  He shook his head. “If my truck wasn’t in the dorm lot in the morning, what do you think Faye’s informants would do?”

  “Canvas the area,” I said. “The diner, the East Side Motel, the—”

  “Exactly.” He turned into the back entrance and drove past the Student Services building. “They’re not going to look on the other side of campus, where there’s no place to hole up.”

  My lips formed a thin line, the corners barely lifted. “We’re going to hang out in the truck?”

  “Or in the back.” He shrugged, cutting his lights once we approached the center of campus. “I thought we could enjoy the view.”

  The implications of his words didn’t sink in until he backed into one of the parking spaces lining the pond. Ribbons of street-lit gold threaded the inky water and lent the area a quiet, romantic air.

  “I know it’s nowhere fancy, but I thought it would be a good place to just…hang out. I miss that. A lot.”

  “It’s perfect,” I muttered, hoping I didn’t sound like a total sap. “But what about the parking attendants?”

  “Bought ‘em a couple of pizzas,” he explained as he unbuckled his seatbelt and got out. “We’re good until morning.”

  Seriously? I scrambled to follow him. Apparently, my lovesick brain hadn’t registered the blankets lining his truck bed when we met up. His navy blue comforter covered the surface in cozy, inviting warmth, and a couple of football throws formed haphazard cushions.

  It didn’t occur to me until then, but this was everything I needed. Quiet, comfort…him.

  Wallace pulled the tailgate down, jumped up, and reached for my hand. “Ready?”

  If I was dreaming again, I didn’t care. “Yes.”

  He pulled me up, and we sat side by side to take off our shoes—as if it were the most natural thing in the world. I threw my sneakers next to his, which looked ridiculous in comparison, and watched as he crawled to the corner with a blanket. He actually took the time to plan this.

  His legs spread to accommodate me, and it wasn’t long before my back absorbed the rhythm in his chest. It was a position we’d adopted before, but I couldn’t remember it ever feeling this intimate. Aside from the static-filled sound of water spilling into the pond, this end of campus was dead silent.

  “I know there’s a lot coming up,” Wallace began, freeing me from my reverie, “but I want you to know being here, having the most important person in my life safe and within arm’s reach—that’s enough for me.”

  Enough for what? Even without the Mark of Nexus, I could’ve felt the growing swell of his emotions. They were a palpable force around us. Anxious and weighted.

  “I do love you,” he added in a voice so gentle it hurt to hear. “It’s just hard for me to show it sometimes.”

  “You don’t have to sho—”

  He cleared his throat and shifted to one side. “I got you something.”

  His arms fought their way outside of the blanket, and he brought two mangled flowers before my eyes, their short stems entwined together. “I asked the lady at the shop which flowers meant I’m in love with my best friend, and she said these two would do it. I know it sounds stupid, but I wanted you to have something you can look at and remember—you know, since I can't be around for awhile.”

  Words failed me.

  “Oh, and the blue squiggly one also means courage,” he added, fingering the petals. “I figured we could use some of that in the coming weeks.”

  I nodded several times, trying to speak around the lump in my throat as I took the twisted arrangement. A red rose and an iris. Staring at them stirred something inside me, something that made every breath a conscious, deliberate effort.

  “Thank you,” I finally managed. “I’ll remember that.”

  He pressed a kiss into my hair and lingered, as if I were a thing to cherish—a thing he couldn’t live without. I wondered then, if he knew something I didn’t.

  I carefully wedged the flowers into my pocket and turned around. Well, I tried to. I was sort of pinned against him. “Wallace…”

  His arms sprang apart. “Sorry.”

  I faced him, drawing up on my knees in the cushioned folds. “What’s going on?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “This.” I gestured around us. “It’s great, but it feels like…I don’t know. You’re holding back. If you’re trying to protect me by withholding information again…”

  He stared at me for a minute, his dark brows furrowed. When he finally spoke, his words were low. Almost reluctant. “Rena, I’m trying to show you I’m serious.”

  CHAPTER 34

  “Serious?” I repeated as a breeze blew in off the pond, tousling my hair.

  “You know.” The blue in Wallace’s eyes sparked, lit with suppressed emphasis. “About us.”

  “Oh.”

  His face fell. “You’re not?”

  “N-No, of course I am. I just…” What could I say to match what he’d just said and done? The man had bared his soul to me, dark and fragile as it was, and I had no response. Parroting his speech felt so insincere, but I didn’t have anything to give him. Except this…

  I leaned in, took his face in my hands, and kissed him. Slow, at first—trying to convey the feelings I didn’t have the words for. As my eyes fluttered shut, I poured myself into the moment. Moisture beaded beneath my lashes, and I pressed as close as our bodies would allow.

  God, I love this man.

  My heart beat a pulse between us and stirred the silence. This was how things were supposed to be. No rules or outsiders or biochemical threats. Just the two of us, enjoying each other’s company. Young and recklessly in love.

  Wallace rose to his knees without breaking the kiss, inverting the angle until I had to look up at him. His hands smoothed across my back pockets, and as soon we parted for air, they were at my hips, easing me onto the blankets. Gently.

  “I just didn’t know how to say it,” I finished, struggling to keep my breath even as we tilted.

  “You said it better than me.”

  My palms hit the downy fabric before my back. I scooted to make room for him, and the truck’s blanketed ridges pressed grooves into my spine. Instant friction.

  His eyes took on a preternatural glint as he crawled the length of my body, covering me in shadow. He straddled my hips and leaned in to whisper, “Wanna say it again?”

  I swallowed hard.

  What would’ve seemed like a patient expression any other time looked wicked in the moonlight. I knew he’d rather walk through fire than hurt me again—and I trusted him—but the moment he dipped his head and caught my jacket zipper between his teeth, I realized I was in for a different kind of trouble.

  With a smirk twisting his lips, he dragged the tab down the front of my chest, his jaw grazing places he’d deemed his to torment.

  My breath hitched in my throat.

  He nudged the sides of my jacket apart and proceeded to trail warm, breathy kisses up my stomach—through my shirt. My skin sweltered beneath the cotton, tense and awake with sensation, but he didn’t seem to mind. It could’ve been a lazy Saturday morning, for all he cared. He didn’t even—

  Wait. Was that a chuckle?

  Fine. Let’s see how you like this, empath.

  I rubbed against him, grabbed the hard-packed muscle between his neck and shoulder, and squeezed. It was a trick I’d learned a few months ago. Mr. Oh-So-Careful liked a little pain with his pleasure. My trembling fingers dug in, my knuckles turned white, and—lo and behold—his arousal
shot fire through my veins.

  Wallace blew out a breath as if I’d sucker-punched him, and it was my turn to smirk. The Mark of Nexus was done shielding him. He lifted his head, and warm breath tickled the side of my face, more labored than I’d realized. Had he just been trying to pace himself? “Rena…”

  We shared a glance. Now that we’d announced our intentions, there were two options at this crossroads. Take a chilled dip in the pond or…revisit some boundaries. One meant disappointment, but the other meant bruises and guilt. “Sorry. Should I—?”

  “Stop?” His glowing gaze scanned my face. “No.”

  In my peripheral vision, his hands clenched the comforter, and three words escaped my lips before I could stop them. “Then, screw it.”

  My arms wound around his neck, and I crushed my mouth to his. He might not have been able to touch me, but I could sure as hell touch him. We weren’t going to sit on the bench all season.

  His response was immediate, and I felt it strain against me—heavy and rock hard. He pressed closer, grinding against my jeans, as he murmured praise against my lips. “Baby…love you.”

  “Love you, too,” I rasped, releasing my hold. My fingers trailed the front of his chest and pushed his shirt up to follow the dips in his abdomen. Rough denim brushed my fingertips at the end, and I made quick work of the button. All it took was a zip, and he was out—more than a throbbing handful between us.

  He stiffened, a gasp caught in his throat, but I beat him to the chase.

  “Wow.” Slick warmth emanated from my grasp as I started slow and built in intensity, his needs becoming my own.

  Wallace groaned and moved to my neck, breathing hard and moaning something that almost resembled my name. My clouded mind couldn’t quite decipher his emotions. Pleasure, sure, and pride. But there was something else. Something heavy.

  I was vaguely aware of his mouth on me, branding my skin. “So good…you’re so good…”

  He didn’t know the half of it. His arousal fed my own through the Nexus, and I dug my heels against the truck’s ridges. A familiar pressure built. I sucked in a deep breath.